


I Need You

by literaryoblivion



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Tablet, Batcave, M/M, Purgatory, Season/Series 08, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-04-18
Packaged: 2017-12-08 20:02:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryoblivion/pseuds/literaryoblivion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I need you.”</p><p>The first time Dean had said it, he was dirty and gross, covered in blood that was not his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> The sexual content is really only hinted at and not explict at all.

“ _I need you._ ”

 

The first time Dean had said it, he was dirty and gross, covered in blood that was not his own. 

He had spent who knows how long searching the ends of purgatory and killing countless monsters for information on where his angel was. All the meanwhile having a vampire trailing behind him with the knowledge of how to get out, but Dean hadn’t cared. He wasn’t going anywhere, not without Cas. 

So when he approached the stream and saw the all-too-familiar trenchcoat, although filthy and worn now, on the hunched over shoulders of the man he was worried he’d never seen again, he was relieved and happy. But when he had found out his prayers had been ignored on purpose and the angel was trying to sacrifice himself for Dean’s safety again, unwilling to follow Dean home, Dean had told him. He needed him. 

And he did need him because they’d been in purgatory for far too long for Dean to have any guess at what was going to be waiting for him when they made it topside on Earth. What if he got back and Sam was dead? What if the leviathans some how survived still turning the world into an all-you-can-eat buffet? He didn’t know what to expect, but what he did know was that he wanted to have Cas beside him, with him because he needed him. He was his best friend, and no matter what they discovered upon their return, it’d be okay because he’d be home with his angel. 

~

The second time Dean had said it, he was bloody and bruised, blood oozing down his face where Castiel, no not _his_ Castiel, had beaten him.

They were alone in the crypt, and after finally getting his angel back from purgatory, albeit under suspect means, only to have him disappear again, had Dean realizing how much he truly needed Cas. So when he got a hint that something else was going on after Cas had shouted at someone named “Naomi” despite them being alone, Dean tried his best to break through whatever was influencing Cas.

Because this wasn’t him. His angel had saved his life so many times already, why would he kill him now? So Dean told him again that he wouldn’t do this, that this wasn’t him, that Cas was family and they needed him. That Dean needed him. Dean needed him because he had felt so alone without him. He didn’t know what to do about Sam with these trials, and there was no one else he could rely on; no one who understood him more than the angel did. He needed Cas because he trusted him with everything, his brother’s life, his own life, his heart.

Dean needed Cas because he would die without him; because if Cas didn’t snap out of this, he was going to die by Cas’s hand. And if that happened, he needed to make sure that Cas knew, that his Cas knew how much Dean _needed_ him, how much he filled the empty spaces in his soul, how much his absence hurt, how indispensible the angel had become to him and not because he was powerful and useful in a fight but because he was Dean’s.

~ 

So it was only fitting that the third time he said it, he was sweaty and achey, but not from pain but from pleasure. 

He had gotten Castiel back after he had flitted off with the angel tablet, and though it had taken some time for them to explain, apologize, and repair the damage Cas leaving _again_ had done to both of them, now they were alone and safe in Dean’s bed in the bunker. They were both breathless and panting moans and groans as they moved against each other, their hips rocking in tandem. And Dean held on to Cas as tight as he could because he was afraid that Cas would disappear, afraid that the sound of fluttering wings, a signal that he was alone again, would be the last memory he’d have of Cas.

Dean couldn’t lose him again because _he needed Cas_. His entire being needed him. When Dean uttered the words to Cas, the phrase bookended by whimpers and the angel’s name, it wasn’t just because of their current activity, not only because he wanted more, needed the angel physically closer, desired to feel him move inside him. He said it for those reasons, sure, but more because without Cas he would be lost.

Cas was his literal savior, several times over; he was his best friend; he was his angel; he was his world, his everything, and once you realize something like that, once you find that person who can make or break you with just one look, you don’t let them go. You can’t let them go because if you do, you’re a fool, but you’ll be too broken and lonely to know that once they’re gone. 

And so Dean says it because he’s not leaving Cas, and Cas sure as hell better not leave him because he needs him, mind, body, and soul, and that’s never going to change. 

 

“ _Cas, I_ love _you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm still not over Dean telling Cas he needs him (because when Dean says he needs Cas he really means he loves him ok?), and so yeah here's this. :)
> 
> Come say hello and fangirl with me on [my tumblr](http://literaryoblivion.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
